To Hold, Be With

Hello, cockroach holders! Here we are, that time of year that can be most joyful... and most tearful. When strong feelings arise, we tend to run away. We escape, resist, pretend, get busy, get into bed, or get out of town. We pay attention to anything other than what’s occurring inside us. And there may be wisdom in escape, when pain is too raw or commitments require us to function instead of fall apart. 

But there’s a cost to escape: when we ignore the parts of us that are suffering or afraid, we miss the potential to transform, rescue, or renew them with a dose of our loving presence. Parts of us long to be held with care, compassion, and affection. To hold them — to be held — we must be with what seems uncomfortable, scary, or too hard to feel. With time, as you choose to stay with yourself instead of escaping and distracting, you begin to feel safer. You become that which will not abandon itself and therefore cannot be abandoned. 

Even a moment to check-in, feel what’s present, and listen inward, a breath to listen and say: Thank you. I’m here. I love you. If life’s demands allow only that one breath before attention turns outward again, promise the little one inside that you will return before long, that there will be space for her and all her feelings. And then, whatever else you do, keep that promise and return.

Create space and time to listen, hear, feel, and love what’s present inside you. As we do, we realize there isn’t nearly as much to fear as our desires for escape lead us to believe. We become ever more ready and grateful to be with, instead of run away. Until that which once felt abandoned is embraced, knows it is loved, and blesses the moments that we venture outward again. 

Be with. Hold with love. Ever evolving and emerging. 

Happy new year,
Matt